deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Member Amelia21/Female/Canada Groups :iconiwillsavethedeimos: #IWillSaveTheDeimos
HUMANS AND DEIMOS REUNITE!
Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 669 Deviations 9,809 Comments 13,271 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Groups

Webcam

Watchers

...because it's not like anyone really cares to read them anyways.

This year has smacked me down into the dirt repeatedly. Every time I try to get up again, there seems to be a boot kicking me back down. I have been used this year in ways I never would've imagined, and I have lost more than I though possible. I am literally void of emotions completely right now because I'm not sure what I have left to care about.

The people I care most for have used me and are now gone because there is nothing left of me to use that they're interested in anymore. I'm expected to move on. I'm told that I care too much. Is it wrong to love people and try to give them everything you possibly can because you think they deserve it? Because you believe in your very soul that they are worth all of your time and effort and love?

Others have just simply decided I'm not worth their time anymore. They choose to ignore my efforts and tell themselves that I don't care about them, despite the truth being the opposite. I care so much that I wind up fighting with the people I love and want to remain in my life because I don't want to see them go. But they leave me behind anyways. Leaving me alone in the shadows.

I have very little left to try to hold on to.

I have a terrible job full of hatred and liars, if you don't believe me, ask yourself: Would you like to be a door to door sales agent working commissions in the middle of winter, with homophobic and racist coworkers? But I am trying to power my way through it, trying to hold on to this job as long as I can, until I can find somewhere else that I actually belong. If such a place exists.

My best friend passed away, she may have been a dog, but at least when things got rough, I always knew she was there, loving me unconditionally, which is more than I could ask for from anyone else I've learnt. And she taught me how to do that myself. How to refrain from judging people, and learn to love and accept everyone for who they are.

I've noticed that I don't recieve many views on my art, and that I don't get many comments on anything either. So what's the point in posting anything? It's become apparent that no one is looking anyways. Why am I even bothering to write this journal? Why would anyone care that I don't post anything for awhile? Will anyone miss me? I doubt it. But because I care about you all, I feel you all deserve to be informed. I know, I'm whiny and annoying and complain too much. Don't worry, you won't have to hear about it anymore.

I'm going to slip off the face of the planet for awhile. I don't know how long yet. Maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months, maybe years....maybe forever. We'll see.

And no, I don't feel anger or hatred towards anyone. At least not towards anyone other than myself.

I'd like to thank everyone for letting me know exactly how little I am worth, I always found myself pretty worthless, but I never realized that so many other people think so too.

I'll miss you all. Until next time, I'm going to be trying to make myself worth something. Or just totally revamp my entire being, because obviously this current model is flawed.
  • Mood: Daily Needs
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing

deviantID

~gaypurpledinosaur
Amelia
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Canada
Um...I happen to be of the human species...although I'd prefer to be a dinosaur...or something more interesting...umm...I also happen to dislike my own drawing styles..a lot...and since I don't get too many views on my stuff...I assume it's not a favorite of others either...anyways...I'm kinda boring...so I'll stop typing now...

Current Residence: My appartment.
deviantWEAR sizing preference: ...the size that fits me...
Print preference: .....a print of my personal preference...
Favourite genre of music: Classic rock
Favourite photographer: People who can properly use a camera.
Favourite style of art: Detailed and pretty...
Operating System: Toshiba?
MP3 player of choice: My lime green iPod.
Shell of choice: .......the kind that snails and turtles have?
Wallpaper of choice: Currently Arkin, Meko and Mr. Scary Smile Eyebrows Man drawn by Picklez101.
Skin of choice: My own.
Favourite cartoon character: Kish, Majeh, Lumen, Snowe, Hervey, Oleg, Reinbach, Maru, Bebedora, Sampson, Cloud, Red XIII...
Personal Quote: Do you wanna see my ship? etc etc...and BLAURGH of course..
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

[x]

Journal History

Friends

:iconvelinov: :iconscruffyscribbler: :iconwood-splitter-lee: :iconkimrhodes: :iconultimatejudgement: :iconchisie-chan: :icondex91: :iconreaperffseven: :iconsantani: :iconwild-ryder: :iconleith-ff: :iconfiresinmaster: :icontricodin: :iconswegener: :iconcuttothesex: :iconcruzerchic123: :iconwillowlightfoot: :iconblackspider-man: :iconkarakanatmelek: :iconthe-gk:

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconiloverenmaaka:
~IloveRenMaaka Apr 1, 2013  Student Artist
thanks for the fav
Reply
:icongaypurpledinosaur:
~gaypurpledinosaur Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconi-am-mighty:
~i-am-mighty Apr 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the favorite :) continue being awesome
Reply
:icongaypurpledinosaur:
~gaypurpledinosaur Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Haha, thanks, and you're welcome!
Reply
:iconi-am-mighty:
~i-am-mighty Apr 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
I feel welcome :) now to await the bluebells
Reply
:iconkarakanatmelek:
~karakanatmelek Mar 31, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favorite! :) I'm glad you like it!
Reply
:icongaypurpledinosaur:
~gaypurpledinosaur Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are very welcome!
Reply
:icondavidlucas:
~davidlucas Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the fog ship fave!
Reply
:icongaypurpledinosaur:
~gaypurpledinosaur Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are very welcome!
Reply
:iconscruffyscribbler:
Mood: dA Love ~ScruffyScribbler Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much for the llama and watch!
Reply
Add a Comment: